I have been on the computer for the last 16 years, coinciding with how long I’ve had dogs as children.
The dogs don’t understand why Mummy stares at a screen and fiddles with the keyboards for several hours a day.
From time to time, they get spooked when sounds come from the computer where mummy is at.
Especially when they are napping.
I used to spend 12-16 hours a day on the computer, writing for and maintaining my website until it became clear to me my life was unbalanced.
I was sharing everything I learned and was learning and I was writing about my experience with dogs.
At some point I realized I was not spending enough time living the life with the dogs.
So I quit the website after 8 years and started to blog thinking a blog required less time to maintain.
Then I found if I wanted to spend more time with the dogs, even blogging was time consuming so I had to keep the blogging to an absolute minimum.
Hence you see a minimum number of postings here spread out over several years.
I now run the DogsRpeople2 (DRP2) Face Book community page.
I justify the time I spend there by telling myself it’s for a worthwhile cause.
My dogs weave in and out of my legs and ask for attention when I am on the computer.
Sometimes they give me a woeful look as if to question why I prefer the company of the computer to them.
Oftentimes, my sessions on DRP2 are interrupted in the middle of a comment when my dogs need me.
This is not easy for me as I realize dogs have a short life span and every moment with them counts.
Before Charity passed on September 5th this year, he would create tension whenever he went under the pc table and get entangled with the wires.
I would be cross with him and he would get an earful from me.
Now that he has passed, of course, as it is always the case, I wish I had spent less time on the computer and more time with him.
Charity was an extra special case.
My foster dad thought it was a good idea to match the first “Sharpei”, the Pit Bull-Sharpei cross with a pure bred Boxer and Charity was the result of that breeding.
(This Sharpei 1 is not to be confused with the present Sharpei you see in the profile picture of the DRP2 page. That is Sharpei 2.)
Charity’s Boxer mom had a litter of 10.
The Boxer’s owner took 6 of the pups and we took 4.
In those days we were new to the dog realities and we thought we could easily find good homes for the extra puppies.
Not so.
We found out there are very few real animal/dog lovers in our country.
Most of the people here will put up with a dog or two only for practical reasons.
If the dogs are pure breeds/pedigrees, they would be valued as status symbols and would be given better care than if they are mongrels.
Most dogs are fed once a day and ignored the rest of the time in exchange for guard duty.
When they are cute puppies, the family would have them around as playthings for their small children and when the dogs become adults, they would be neglected and encouraged to wander off on their own.
Some allow the dogs to come and go as they please and others lock their gates so the dogs would not be allowed in, hence they become street dogs, subjected to the dangers of the streets.
When our family realized the reality of the situation here in our country, we had to assume the responsibility of our poor decision to “create” the puppies in the first place.
We already had Boy, Plenty, Lady and Sharpei.
Now we had to take care of Charity, Harmony, Energy and Tiger.
All four were taken from their nursing mother when their eyes were still closed because she had problems nursing all 10.
So we bottle fed them, burped them, and spoon fed them human baby food until they were able to feed on their own.
Tiger was crushed earlier on when he was competing for his mother’s milk and he didn’t make it to the next phase.
So the situation at our house at the time was like this.
My foster dad (wrongly) believed Plenty and Lady were too young to be spayed so Boy and Sharpei created four “accident” puppies with Plenty.
So there was Boy, Plenty, Lady, Sharpei, Plenty’s 4 pups and Sharpei’s 4 pups.
We gave away Plenty’s puppies but we needed more time with Sharpei’s 3 surviving pups.
When they turned one year old, the situation became untenable.
Charity was fostered by a neighbor in exchange for guard duty and he remained there until he was 4 years old.
He was favored over Harmony and Energy because he didn’t bite shoes and stuff.
Mony and Energy lived with friends until Dad went dog crazy and started to rescue dogs and bringing them to friends’ houses and renting extra houses to shelter the rescues.
At this point, my dad became by definition, a hoarder.
When Sharpei died at 5 years plus from heart failure, a space was created and we brought Charity home as he was getting depressed living the life of a guard dog.
Charity was 4 years old.
Life is not what it should be, could be, for a dog when your family has too many dogs to care for.
Up until just over a year ago, Charity had to compete for attention with Boy, Plenty, Lady, Sharpei 1, Sharpei 2, Mony, Energy and the other rescues.
When Boy and Plenty died last year at 14 and a half years old, Charity was already 13 years old.
Having outlived most of the dogs in our care for the past 16 years, Charity had only to compete with Sharpei 2 and Whitey for our love and attention until Bubu joined the family.
I tried to give Charity the love and attention he craved for the past year and a half.
It was not easy as I was allergic to his fur.
Every time I hugged him or when he brushed himself against my legs, I would break out in hives and rashes.
When the household dust got to me, I would be in a sneezing spasm and would have to take antihistamines that would make me drowsy.
The doctor said I could technically die from an anaphylactic shock.
I didn’t care.
I wasn’t afraid to die from giving Charity or the other dogs the love they craved for.
I have many regrets in life.
Yet, if I could live my life all over again, I would still choose to love the dogs that have been mine to love.
But I would do everything better since I now know better.
I desperately needed to be a dog whisperer but I was not.
As Caesar Milan says, a dog lover is not necessarily a dog whisperer.
Hence most of the dogs had to be kept away from each other or they would fight and injure themselves.
This created a lot of tension, conflicts and unhappiness.
I regret I couldn’t get a wheelchair for Plenty, Boy and Charity in time to serve them.
Had they been given the gift of a wheelchair when their old legs could not support them for daily purpose, I’m sure they would have had more quality time with us.
Now I’m waiting for the prototype to be delivered to me.
The craftsman friend, who is a kind dog lover and animal advocate as well, is working on it and the only part he now needs to complete the prototype is an axle for the wheels.
When the prototype is completed, I will share it with everyone on the DRP2 page.
It will cost less than US$30.00 to make.
The ones currently for sale on the internet cost upward of US$250.00 plus shipping.
If I have to pay US$8.00 shipping for a cd, I shudder to think what the shipping cost would be for a wheelchair?
Anyone and everyone will have access to the specifications when we are ready to share it on the internet.
I believe my friend will be able to see this project through as we both share this desire to alleviate the suffering of senior and handicapped dogs as well as their care-takers.
Animal lovers and compassionate people in general tend to be highly emotional.
Indeed, being emotional is the primary prerequisite of a rescuer/do gooder.
When the news is bad enough, we either get depressed or we get angry.
Depression causes us to feel fatigued and lethargic.
Anger motivates us to ACT.
Activists act out of anger.
If they don’t do something positive and proactive with their emotions, the anger will consume them and they will find themselves doing something negative and counter-productive.
Activists act out of despair believing, feeling, knowing, living the truism that action is the antidote to despair.
I've always loved dogs.
From the time of my childhood when my mother would let me keep a puppy until it was about a year old and then give the dog away and break my heart.
My mother did this to me about three times.
The first dog I had was from a litter of pups whose mama bit me when I went to play at my friends' house.
The mama dog that bit me was a pure bred Alsatian.
The owner of the dog took me to the hospital for stitches and felt sorry and gifted me with Ringo.
I called him Ringo after the Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr.
He was a cross breed and had a mop of a hair do.
Ringo and I had each other until he was about one year old and my mom gave him to a friend who lived in a bungalow, telling me Ringo was better off there where he could be properly housed.
I was about 6 years old, and I would walk a mile a day to catch a glimpse of Ringo Boy in his bungalow house.
In those days, children actually survived such excursions!
I saw Ringo leashed to his dog kennel, sitting all very proper and well behaved like he had been trained.
Even at that age, I knew I should not call out to him to confuse him.
I understood he now had a new home, a new family, a new life and he should be left to get on with it.
My birth family didn't have a fenced in house and our dogs would be allowed to come and go until it got to be too much trouble and then it was adios.
One time when I was about 7 or 8, one of the dogs somehow managed to locate me at the bus stop opposite my grade school.
As the bus conductor wouldn't let me into the bus with the dog, I didn't board any buses until it was later in the afternoon when my mom was frantic with worry and came looking for me and found me at the bus stop with my dog.
She called the new owner, they came in a car to fetch Jolly Boy away and my mom and I took a bus home.
Some would say my mom was insensitive and as a child, I did suffer from her ability to disconnect herself from my emotions.
But as an adult, I came to understand my mom was what she was as a result of her own upbringing and experience as an adult.
People who were not shown love as children have a hard time connecting with others emotionally.
They become emotionally distant.
Both my birth parents were like that.
In my adult years, I was never settled long enough in one place to have dogs.
Then about 16 years ago, when I planned to "settle down", I rescued 3 puppies from a neighborhood secondary forest and resolved to make up for my childhood loss.
These were MY pups and they were mine to love and care for till death do us part.
One of them (Lady) died 8 years ago and the other two (Boy and Plenty) died last year at a ripe 14 plus years.
Like my mom before me and her mom before her, I grew up emotionally disconnected.
It didn't help that my adult relationships were mostly with others who were equally emotionally disconnected.
Till today, (I am about 50), I find it easier to connect emotionally with animals than with humans.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Michael Grimm: How long can he maintain the quality of his songs?
While de-cluttering recently, I came across some notes I had taken some fifteen years ago.
I can't remember where I had sourced the following from.
I only know I used to collect quotes when the quotes resonated with me.
Twenty years ago would be about the time I started to write my own songs using the few chords I knew with my guitar.
Hence I became curious about the composing process - where do the songs come from?
In my case, I would simply hear the melodies in my head or I would be dreaming them as I slept.
Either way, I would have to quickly put words to the melodies so that I could remember them easily as I cannot read music.
If I was sleeping, I would have to then force myself to get out of bed and record the melody before going back to bed so that I could expand on the song when I had rested.
If I failed to do this, I would not be able to recollect the song when I awoke and the song would be lost forever.
The note I found while I was de-cluttering said: "Great composers often compose their best works under pressure in times of adversity.
Mozart was dying in poverty when he composed in his last few weeks many immortal works.
Beethoven wrote his best works after going totally deaf.
Chopin overcame the debilitating effects of tuberculosis to write many of his finest piano pieces."
Another note said: "The very act of creating music becomes the means by which personal adversity is overcome.
Composing remain then, as now, the supreme expression of the creative genius of the human spirit to make anew that which appears for all purposes to be lost."
I don't play the guitar well.
I don't play any musical instrument well.
Except in my dreams.
In my dreams I could play and sing extremely well.
I wanted to understand in the context of the creative process,
how come my subconscious could not break through to the conscious state?
Some metaphysical people I talked to explained that I probably played the instruments well in a previous lifetime.
But why, I asked, couldn't I tap from that to use in this lifetime?
Why was I dreaming and why was I not able to literally "live the dream"?
Till today, I do not understand.
I tried working with professional musicians to further develop my music but these efforts did not succeed for lack of compatibility.
Even these musicians shake their heads in wonder at how I come up with the melodies when they have been in the business their whole lives and can't come up with a single song of their own!
No one understands the creative process (any kind of creation, not just music) unless they experience it themselves.
I have long since given up the dream of singing my own songs as I find I am not the singer I once was.
Having to express my music through others make this project even harder.
I still harbour hopes that I will one day work with the right people on my music and then I hope to share these on youtube.
This would be so much fun and would be so fulfilling.
The writer Robin Sharma said: "Potential unrealised turns to pain. The violence of mediocrity and a life poorly lived creeps up on people. It happens so quietly and ever so invisibly; and then it just tears you apart".
Back to Michael Grimm.
I understand where the singer/songwriter comes from.
I understand the pain and despair he felt when he thought he wasn't getting the recognition he deserved.
I understand why the quality of the first few albums are usually hard for the singer/songwriter to follow.
I myself have about a hundred songs.
Out of these, if I had to cut a first album, I would of course have to select the top twelve of my compositions to make sure that my first album doesn't bomb.
Then for the next two or three albums I would have to choose the next best twelve or twenty four songs, right?
After that, what's left are more or less my own rejects.
So I surmise this is the reason artists can't keep producing albums of similar quality year after year unless they accept other people's first choice material.
I also understand when the hungry years are well behind an established artist, the creative process will not be the same as it once was.
As life changes, the artist will change and his body of work will also change.
The only constant in life is change.
To expect Michael Grimm or his music not to change with the passage of time is not possible.
I can't remember where I had sourced the following from.
I only know I used to collect quotes when the quotes resonated with me.
Twenty years ago would be about the time I started to write my own songs using the few chords I knew with my guitar.
Hence I became curious about the composing process - where do the songs come from?
In my case, I would simply hear the melodies in my head or I would be dreaming them as I slept.
Either way, I would have to quickly put words to the melodies so that I could remember them easily as I cannot read music.
If I was sleeping, I would have to then force myself to get out of bed and record the melody before going back to bed so that I could expand on the song when I had rested.
If I failed to do this, I would not be able to recollect the song when I awoke and the song would be lost forever.
The note I found while I was de-cluttering said: "Great composers often compose their best works under pressure in times of adversity.
Mozart was dying in poverty when he composed in his last few weeks many immortal works.
Beethoven wrote his best works after going totally deaf.
Chopin overcame the debilitating effects of tuberculosis to write many of his finest piano pieces."
Another note said: "The very act of creating music becomes the means by which personal adversity is overcome.
Composing remain then, as now, the supreme expression of the creative genius of the human spirit to make anew that which appears for all purposes to be lost."
I don't play the guitar well.
I don't play any musical instrument well.
Except in my dreams.
In my dreams I could play and sing extremely well.
I wanted to understand in the context of the creative process,
how come my subconscious could not break through to the conscious state?
Some metaphysical people I talked to explained that I probably played the instruments well in a previous lifetime.
But why, I asked, couldn't I tap from that to use in this lifetime?
Why was I dreaming and why was I not able to literally "live the dream"?
Till today, I do not understand.
I tried working with professional musicians to further develop my music but these efforts did not succeed for lack of compatibility.
Even these musicians shake their heads in wonder at how I come up with the melodies when they have been in the business their whole lives and can't come up with a single song of their own!
No one understands the creative process (any kind of creation, not just music) unless they experience it themselves.
I have long since given up the dream of singing my own songs as I find I am not the singer I once was.
Having to express my music through others make this project even harder.
I still harbour hopes that I will one day work with the right people on my music and then I hope to share these on youtube.
This would be so much fun and would be so fulfilling.
The writer Robin Sharma said: "Potential unrealised turns to pain. The violence of mediocrity and a life poorly lived creeps up on people. It happens so quietly and ever so invisibly; and then it just tears you apart".
Back to Michael Grimm.
I understand where the singer/songwriter comes from.
I understand the pain and despair he felt when he thought he wasn't getting the recognition he deserved.
I understand why the quality of the first few albums are usually hard for the singer/songwriter to follow.
I myself have about a hundred songs.
Out of these, if I had to cut a first album, I would of course have to select the top twelve of my compositions to make sure that my first album doesn't bomb.
Then for the next two or three albums I would have to choose the next best twelve or twenty four songs, right?
After that, what's left are more or less my own rejects.
So I surmise this is the reason artists can't keep producing albums of similar quality year after year unless they accept other people's first choice material.
I also understand when the hungry years are well behind an established artist, the creative process will not be the same as it once was.
As life changes, the artist will change and his body of work will also change.
The only constant in life is change.
To expect Michael Grimm or his music not to change with the passage of time is not possible.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Why did Michael Grimm win AGT 2010?
So I have a crush on Michael Grimm.
Who's Michael Grimm?
He's the 2010 America's Got Talent winner.
Three weeks after the Finale and I am still downloading his youtube performances and all the available mp3s from the internet.
I follow some of the threads discussing why he won and Jackie Evancho didn't.
I read that people think he sounds like Michael Bolton, Van Morrison, Al Green and Joe Cocker.
I read that Michael Grimm won inspite of NBC's efforts to favor a Jackie Evancho victory.
Some of the discussions post the results show are ridiculous, others are quite funny.
I was going to twit why I think Michael Grimm won but it would have been impossible on Twitter.
Michael Grimm won because:
1. His backstory was emotionally compelling. Voters rooted for the little cute boy who would have been in foster care at the age of four had it not been for his grandparents who offered to raise him and his now estranged sister.
2.Voters related and identified with his personal struggles and dreams.
3. Everyone has dreams but MG had the talent and everything else it took to work the dream.
4. No one is "an overnight success". The internet is full of MG's performances at gigs where it is now clear he honed his considerable talents. He had four independently produced cds out before his AGT win. Two are covers of the blues and soul music that is his style and two are his original compositions. The singer/songwriter/guitarist comes across as a very sensitive soul who rocks. He was ripe for this success. His time had come. His time is now.
5. Whoever people say he resembles in sound and looks, his back story, personality, guitar playing and personal style, dress sense, demeanor and charisma make him all of the above and more.
6. His speaking voice is as sexy and melting as is his graciousness.
7. Viewers could really, really appreciate he wanted/needed/willed this more than any of the other finalists.
8. Groups like Fighting Gravity are always going to be disadvantaged when competing against lone performers simply because group acts lack a 'face' which people can emotionally connect with and root for.
As far as talent competitions go where the outcome is determined by viewer votes, this will always be the case hence many people are asking why singers win these competitions all the time when there are so many variety acts competing.
9. Michael Grimm is simply delicious to look at and take in. Remember that joke about business - Good, fast and cheap. You have to pick two out of three. You cant have all three. Well, Michael Grimm is Sweet, sexy and likeable. And you can have all three! Personally, I do not know anybody who is sweet, sexy and likeable male or female. And Michael Grimm is all these and more.
10. He ran a good race. He has a substantial catalog of covers to choose from and he chose all the right ones at the right time. In my opinion, the song he sang at the Finals was his weakest choice. He should have stuck with older standards where he couldn't be compared to contemporary singers.
Uh, what was that question again?
Why did Michael Grimm win America's Got Talent?
Who's Michael Grimm?
He's the 2010 America's Got Talent winner.
Three weeks after the Finale and I am still downloading his youtube performances and all the available mp3s from the internet.
I follow some of the threads discussing why he won and Jackie Evancho didn't.
I read that people think he sounds like Michael Bolton, Van Morrison, Al Green and Joe Cocker.
I read that Michael Grimm won inspite of NBC's efforts to favor a Jackie Evancho victory.
Some of the discussions post the results show are ridiculous, others are quite funny.
I was going to twit why I think Michael Grimm won but it would have been impossible on Twitter.
Michael Grimm won because:
1. His backstory was emotionally compelling. Voters rooted for the little cute boy who would have been in foster care at the age of four had it not been for his grandparents who offered to raise him and his now estranged sister.
2.Voters related and identified with his personal struggles and dreams.
3. Everyone has dreams but MG had the talent and everything else it took to work the dream.
4. No one is "an overnight success". The internet is full of MG's performances at gigs where it is now clear he honed his considerable talents. He had four independently produced cds out before his AGT win. Two are covers of the blues and soul music that is his style and two are his original compositions. The singer/songwriter/guitarist comes across as a very sensitive soul who rocks. He was ripe for this success. His time had come. His time is now.
5. Whoever people say he resembles in sound and looks, his back story, personality, guitar playing and personal style, dress sense, demeanor and charisma make him all of the above and more.
6. His speaking voice is as sexy and melting as is his graciousness.
7. Viewers could really, really appreciate he wanted/needed/willed this more than any of the other finalists.
8. Groups like Fighting Gravity are always going to be disadvantaged when competing against lone performers simply because group acts lack a 'face' which people can emotionally connect with and root for.
As far as talent competitions go where the outcome is determined by viewer votes, this will always be the case hence many people are asking why singers win these competitions all the time when there are so many variety acts competing.
9. Michael Grimm is simply delicious to look at and take in. Remember that joke about business - Good, fast and cheap. You have to pick two out of three. You cant have all three. Well, Michael Grimm is Sweet, sexy and likeable. And you can have all three! Personally, I do not know anybody who is sweet, sexy and likeable male or female. And Michael Grimm is all these and more.
10. He ran a good race. He has a substantial catalog of covers to choose from and he chose all the right ones at the right time. In my opinion, the song he sang at the Finals was his weakest choice. He should have stuck with older standards where he couldn't be compared to contemporary singers.
Uh, what was that question again?
Why did Michael Grimm win America's Got Talent?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Open Letter to Tiger Woods # 2
Dear Tiger,
I am not a religious person and I don't think you are religious either.
However, in your latest interviews you mentioned how you lost your way when you stopped meditating and neglected the core values of Buddhism, the religion you were raised with.
If you are a Buddhist, then you must believe in past lives, reincarnation, karma and karmic themes.
Seeing that you want to put the recent past behind you, may I suggest you um, pay off your lovers so that they get something from pleasing you while you move on with your learning and growing.
I'm aware most people don't think much of the women you have been involved with.
But it's true, you know, they are people too.
People with emotions and needs like you.
Perhaps it's true they got involved with you for your money.
It doesn't take millions to make them happy, you know.
Like most people, they just want a bit of security so they don't have to worry about the future and by getting involved with them, you provided them with an easy opportunity to secure this future.
Opportunists they may well be but considering your huge personal wealth and what you are still capable of earning in the future, why not do the spiritual thing and settle your karmic debts with them?
If you don't think you owe them anything, how about just doing the spiritually generous thing?
Then everyone can move on.
It's all good.
Some people are very religious.
They like to say "Put God first and everything will fall into place."
Not being religious myself, I tend to think the Ten Commandments and the Buddhist precepts are guidelines for a healthy life.
All good advice to live by.
It's not God that punishes when the Commandments and precepts are not adhered to.
People punish themselves when they make the wrong choices in life.
It's cause and effect, karma, call it what you will.
Like most people, I am looking forward to how you do in the coming Masters.
You are a lesson in motion.
I am looking forward to how you live out the rest of your life.
Some of us had been severely disadvantaged the first 20 years of our lives.
Not unlike the first 20 years of some of your lovers, I imagine.
We struggle to play well the hand that was dealt us at birth.
Having had to live the disciplined life that you lived the first 20 years of your life is no excuse for your recent "entitled" behaviour.
Its almost like you have used up your lifetime quota of bad behaviour and mistakes and you don't have the luxury of making another.
The whole world is watching you from this point on.
It has been said, a leopard can't change its spots.
No one has said yet (that I'm aware of) that a Tiger can't change its stripes. :)
Perhaps not, but Elin can take comfort from one reality.
That is, now that your "sickness" has been exposed, it would be impossible for you to live that lie again?
One way or another, we all live in cages Tiger.
Cages within cages.
We choose our cages.
Except for the first 20 years when karma from previous lifetimes overwhelmingly control our options, no one puts us anywhere we don't choose to be.
The word "choose" here is used with the widest of latitude.
Life's seen and unseen influences, our beliefs and values, tip the direction of our choices one way or the other.
You have chosen yours.
Enjoy your life choices.
P/S
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny. - Upanishad 1v 4.5
mEinah
I am not a religious person and I don't think you are religious either.
However, in your latest interviews you mentioned how you lost your way when you stopped meditating and neglected the core values of Buddhism, the religion you were raised with.
If you are a Buddhist, then you must believe in past lives, reincarnation, karma and karmic themes.
Seeing that you want to put the recent past behind you, may I suggest you um, pay off your lovers so that they get something from pleasing you while you move on with your learning and growing.
I'm aware most people don't think much of the women you have been involved with.
But it's true, you know, they are people too.
People with emotions and needs like you.
Perhaps it's true they got involved with you for your money.
It doesn't take millions to make them happy, you know.
Like most people, they just want a bit of security so they don't have to worry about the future and by getting involved with them, you provided them with an easy opportunity to secure this future.
Opportunists they may well be but considering your huge personal wealth and what you are still capable of earning in the future, why not do the spiritual thing and settle your karmic debts with them?
If you don't think you owe them anything, how about just doing the spiritually generous thing?
Then everyone can move on.
It's all good.
Some people are very religious.
They like to say "Put God first and everything will fall into place."
Not being religious myself, I tend to think the Ten Commandments and the Buddhist precepts are guidelines for a healthy life.
All good advice to live by.
It's not God that punishes when the Commandments and precepts are not adhered to.
People punish themselves when they make the wrong choices in life.
It's cause and effect, karma, call it what you will.
Like most people, I am looking forward to how you do in the coming Masters.
You are a lesson in motion.
I am looking forward to how you live out the rest of your life.
Some of us had been severely disadvantaged the first 20 years of our lives.
Not unlike the first 20 years of some of your lovers, I imagine.
We struggle to play well the hand that was dealt us at birth.
Having had to live the disciplined life that you lived the first 20 years of your life is no excuse for your recent "entitled" behaviour.
Its almost like you have used up your lifetime quota of bad behaviour and mistakes and you don't have the luxury of making another.
The whole world is watching you from this point on.
It has been said, a leopard can't change its spots.
No one has said yet (that I'm aware of) that a Tiger can't change its stripes. :)
Perhaps not, but Elin can take comfort from one reality.
That is, now that your "sickness" has been exposed, it would be impossible for you to live that lie again?
One way or another, we all live in cages Tiger.
Cages within cages.
We choose our cages.
Except for the first 20 years when karma from previous lifetimes overwhelmingly control our options, no one puts us anywhere we don't choose to be.
The word "choose" here is used with the widest of latitude.
Life's seen and unseen influences, our beliefs and values, tip the direction of our choices one way or the other.
You have chosen yours.
Enjoy your life choices.
P/S
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny. - Upanishad 1v 4.5
mEinah
Friday, December 18, 2009
An Open Letter To Tiger Woods
Dear Tiger,
The biggest mistake you have made up until now was NOT to be a sex addict but to have gotten married and to have created a family when you clearly were aware of your addiction.
The public thinks you are a cad not just because you have slept with so many women in such a short space of time.
Or even that you had them all more or less overlapping during the same period.
The public thinks you are a cad because you had all those women while you were less than five years into your marriage, while your wife is still a youthful desirable partner, while your kids were just being born.
You had all that extramarital sex while your beloved father was dying of cancer.
You did not even consider protecting your wife and new borns from sexually transmitted diseases.
Ya, we understand athletes by and large, have very high testosterone levels in their blood.
Hence, they are agressive competitors in their field of sports.
Ya, we understand high testosterone levels also can express as high libidos.
We understand the man who has an extramarital affair with someone compelling, like a "soulmate".
We understand unfortunate cases where the man meets his true love match after he had already married someone else.
We understand an ocassional fling with a sexy thing.
We understand a man is a man and a man has to do what a man has got to do.
We don't like it but we understand.
We DO not understand however, how anyone who has such a busy, successful career and family life can find the time, energy and drive to have so much sex with so many different partners?
The good news here is you have wonderful time management skills.
The bad news here is you have been thinking with the wrong head.
How did it not occur to you that those ladies who had the karma to "put a Tiger in their tanks" would sell their stories some day?
People with any kind of addiction - sex, drug, alchohol, substance, gambling - should not get married simply because they cannot make the sacrifices necessary for a happy family life.
Yet these people get married time and time again.
Talk forums are asking "Why do married people cheat?"
Because they cannot commit to a single sex partner?
Because the sex is not satisfying in their marriage?
Because they fall in love over and over again with different people during the course of being married to one woman?
Because they can?
Because they think they can get away with it?
Why then do these people get married in the first place?
Hats off to people like Simon Cowell who is on record for saying he will not get married because he cannot commit to one woman.
Again, why do these people get married in the first place?
Because they need a sense of belonging to someone exclusively (and Simon doesn't)?
Because they need a sense that someone belongs to them exclusively (and Simon doesn't)?
Because they want to feel secure in a meaningful, lasting, relationship (and Simon doesn't)?
Because they want children?
What you should do now is NOT to continue to hide from the world because of your shame or embarassment at being exposed.
It would be a sheer waste of your celebrity for you to fade away into obscurity or ignominy.
Tiger, you should own this problem, take this problem by its horns and wrestle it to the ground for all it's worth.
Talk about this addiction. Not many know this addiction even exists.
Since you cannot be left alone even if you want the earth to open up and swallow you, you might as well turn the disadvantage of negative publicity around.
Preempt any attempts for any more 'blackmailing' incidents or calculated embarassing exposes.
So what if there are naked photos of you out there?
You probably have a good looking body anyway, nothing to be ashamed of.
So what if there are even sex videos of you out there?
It never is as humiliating for a man as it is for a woman.
Unless of course you are a poor lover which I don't think you are or else you wouldn't have so many women lusting after you, money or no money.
Enough of being private Tiger already!
Write a book about sex addiction.
Do the talk show circuit.
Do Oprah.
Take questions.
Help others with the same addiction.
Be a poster boy for sex addiction.
It's not golf you should take time off while you focus on being a family man and a better person.
Golf has been good to you and will continue being good to you.
Golf is even good FOR you as it helps with discipline and you need to be doing something you are good at to maintain a healthy self-image, self-esteem, self-worth, etc.
Without golf you will find it even more challenging to redirect your high energy away from destructive past times/hobbies.
Golf is one way to harness this energy.
I shudder to think what you would have done with yourself if it hadn't been for golf.
I am also gobsmacked wondering what more you could have achieved in your sports had you not been up to your shenanigans.
What you should be taking time off is your sex addiction.
Use that time and energy instead on working to educate the public on what sex addiction is.
So people won't look at you in quite the same way as they did before.
So it'll be like Bill Clinton before and after Monica Lewinsky.
But look at Bill Clinton today.
He focussed on his Clinton Global Initiative and forced the world to focus on that too.
It's time to stop dwelling on what you have lost.
You are still Tiger Woods - AP's athlete of the decade.
It's time to start focussing on what good might come out of this so-called loss.
Not for you alone but for other people like you out there.
I say "so called" because the universe works in mysterious ways.
We all have our demons to conquer, our crosses to bear.
We all have to work on the "Seven Deadly Sins" so to speak.
We are all works in progress.
Sincerely,
mEinah
P/S With the multi-million dollars in various pay offs and compensations for all your women, including your wife, you appear to be the biggest loser in this shenanigan. Millions of women all over the world suffer the same fate as your wife and children but get no similar monetary consolations.
Money may not buy happiness but it sure can make the unhappiness more bearable.
The biggest mistake you have made up until now was NOT to be a sex addict but to have gotten married and to have created a family when you clearly were aware of your addiction.
The public thinks you are a cad not just because you have slept with so many women in such a short space of time.
Or even that you had them all more or less overlapping during the same period.
The public thinks you are a cad because you had all those women while you were less than five years into your marriage, while your wife is still a youthful desirable partner, while your kids were just being born.
You had all that extramarital sex while your beloved father was dying of cancer.
You did not even consider protecting your wife and new borns from sexually transmitted diseases.
Ya, we understand athletes by and large, have very high testosterone levels in their blood.
Hence, they are agressive competitors in their field of sports.
Ya, we understand high testosterone levels also can express as high libidos.
We understand the man who has an extramarital affair with someone compelling, like a "soulmate".
We understand unfortunate cases where the man meets his true love match after he had already married someone else.
We understand an ocassional fling with a sexy thing.
We understand a man is a man and a man has to do what a man has got to do.
We don't like it but we understand.
We DO not understand however, how anyone who has such a busy, successful career and family life can find the time, energy and drive to have so much sex with so many different partners?
The good news here is you have wonderful time management skills.
The bad news here is you have been thinking with the wrong head.
How did it not occur to you that those ladies who had the karma to "put a Tiger in their tanks" would sell their stories some day?
People with any kind of addiction - sex, drug, alchohol, substance, gambling - should not get married simply because they cannot make the sacrifices necessary for a happy family life.
Yet these people get married time and time again.
Talk forums are asking "Why do married people cheat?"
Because they cannot commit to a single sex partner?
Because the sex is not satisfying in their marriage?
Because they fall in love over and over again with different people during the course of being married to one woman?
Because they can?
Because they think they can get away with it?
Why then do these people get married in the first place?
Hats off to people like Simon Cowell who is on record for saying he will not get married because he cannot commit to one woman.
Again, why do these people get married in the first place?
Because they need a sense of belonging to someone exclusively (and Simon doesn't)?
Because they need a sense that someone belongs to them exclusively (and Simon doesn't)?
Because they want to feel secure in a meaningful, lasting, relationship (and Simon doesn't)?
Because they want children?
What you should do now is NOT to continue to hide from the world because of your shame or embarassment at being exposed.
It would be a sheer waste of your celebrity for you to fade away into obscurity or ignominy.
Tiger, you should own this problem, take this problem by its horns and wrestle it to the ground for all it's worth.
Talk about this addiction. Not many know this addiction even exists.
Since you cannot be left alone even if you want the earth to open up and swallow you, you might as well turn the disadvantage of negative publicity around.
Preempt any attempts for any more 'blackmailing' incidents or calculated embarassing exposes.
So what if there are naked photos of you out there?
You probably have a good looking body anyway, nothing to be ashamed of.
So what if there are even sex videos of you out there?
It never is as humiliating for a man as it is for a woman.
Unless of course you are a poor lover which I don't think you are or else you wouldn't have so many women lusting after you, money or no money.
Enough of being private Tiger already!
Write a book about sex addiction.
Do the talk show circuit.
Do Oprah.
Take questions.
Help others with the same addiction.
Be a poster boy for sex addiction.
It's not golf you should take time off while you focus on being a family man and a better person.
Golf has been good to you and will continue being good to you.
Golf is even good FOR you as it helps with discipline and you need to be doing something you are good at to maintain a healthy self-image, self-esteem, self-worth, etc.
Without golf you will find it even more challenging to redirect your high energy away from destructive past times/hobbies.
Golf is one way to harness this energy.
I shudder to think what you would have done with yourself if it hadn't been for golf.
I am also gobsmacked wondering what more you could have achieved in your sports had you not been up to your shenanigans.
What you should be taking time off is your sex addiction.
Use that time and energy instead on working to educate the public on what sex addiction is.
So people won't look at you in quite the same way as they did before.
So it'll be like Bill Clinton before and after Monica Lewinsky.
But look at Bill Clinton today.
He focussed on his Clinton Global Initiative and forced the world to focus on that too.
It's time to stop dwelling on what you have lost.
You are still Tiger Woods - AP's athlete of the decade.
It's time to start focussing on what good might come out of this so-called loss.
Not for you alone but for other people like you out there.
I say "so called" because the universe works in mysterious ways.
We all have our demons to conquer, our crosses to bear.
We all have to work on the "Seven Deadly Sins" so to speak.
We are all works in progress.
Sincerely,
mEinah
P/S With the multi-million dollars in various pay offs and compensations for all your women, including your wife, you appear to be the biggest loser in this shenanigan. Millions of women all over the world suffer the same fate as your wife and children but get no similar monetary consolations.
Money may not buy happiness but it sure can make the unhappiness more bearable.
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